The Art of Bending

Auspicious Beginnings and Unexpected Endings

Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking about beginnings and endings.  More specifically, those unanticipated or unexpected  beginnings and endings.  We'd be nowhere in life without a beginning, and we'd get nowhere in life without an ending.

For some background, I do wonder if my constant pondering has to do with my own personal beginning:

• My Beginning:  I was born June 5, 19xx (a lady never tells, so... 1975) in suburban New Jersey.  My start was ordinary and without incident.  My Mom and Dad never had sex, clearly.  Like all other parents, they were greeted by the stork with a bouncing baby girl.  My father, who has always been known for his mastery of the English language - with a special concentration in spelling - was somehow the one in charge of placing my name on the birth certificate.  With that said, he spelled it exactly how he thought it should be spelled.  Therefore I became Karie.  'Cause that's how it's sounds, don't cha know? Not Carrie or Carey or even Kari.  Karie.   My mother, still in shock from the stork visit I imagine, just shook her head and wondered how she was lucky enough to have married such a wordsmith.

In essence, my life started out by my Dad's lack of spelling ability.   I've come to terms with the fact that I will never own a magnet or key chain with my name on it.

 

The thing about some of the most memorable beginnings are the fact that they sneak up on you.  The first time you met your best friend, you didn't know that you'd be best friends.  Sure, you might have felt an instant connection, but take a step back.  You didn't even know THAT person existed until the moment you met each other.  The moment you meet someone is a chance for your entire existence to be altered forever.  In a small way, EVERY meeting with EVERY person is just that.  Like the Butterfly Effect, even the smallest motion, the smallest change, can result in a difference down the line.  Beginnings are everywhere. Beginnings happen every instant.  When I look at life from this angle, it makes me feel hopeful and excited.  I feel a lust for life and a zest for experiencing things.  Everything.  I feel that I can make a difference and that my being really matters to the universe.

 

 

The thing about some of the most memorable endings are the fact that they sneak up on you.   If you've ever lost a loved one unexpectedly, you didn't know that the last time you spoke with them, the last time you grabbed a drink or dinner together, the last time you chatted on the phone or texted, would be IT.   You didn't know that the last words you would speak to them would be meaningless:  about a hockey game, or a new blouse; or full of significance:  telling them you love them, or having a blow-out fight.  The last time you spoke to them was just about realness and naivete - that we all will go on forever.   Endings are everywhere.  Endings happen every instant.  Without endings, there could be no beginnings.  When I look at life from this angle, it makes me reminisce and long for days-gone-by.  It makes me want to go back and appreciate the moments more.  I feel I've wasted an opportunity by taking it all for granted.

 

There's also the flipside to beginnings and endings.  You could walk in to the doctor's office feeling OK, "just in for a regular check-up, thank-you-very-much", and find out that you've got something.  The beginning of a long road of question marks, fear, pain, heartache, and anxiety.  You could also walk in to a doctor's office and find out that you've been cured of something.  The ending of a road of question marks, fear, pain, heartache, and anxiety. I don't think it's an accident that when you combine the words beginning and ending, you come up with "bending". 

 

 

The older I get, the more I realize that we get nowhere in life without "bending".  Life is going to happen.  Beginnings are going to happen.  Some for the good and some for the bad.  Echo that for endings.  It's how we deal with them.  How we take hold of what we have in front of us right now that makes the middle parts of each teeny journey and experience enjoyable and worth it.

 

Like any good book, my life began with an auspicious beginning, the journey has been interesting, and I hope to start adapting to how I handle some of the unexpected endings.

With Love
Lady Butterfly
xoxo